BULLSEYE!!! ang tamaan...

"tinitignan mo ba ang basong kalahating bawas, o kalahating puno?hinde lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"...

ngaun ko lng na realized ang malalim na kahulugan nito... may mga tao tlga sarado utak minsan.. ayaw tumanggap ng mali nila... eh ano kung mas bata ang kaharap mo at natalo ka... eh sa nalaman mo na gnun ang buhay at kulang ang interpretasyon mo sa mga bagay-bagay eh... minsan ndi lng sa mismong bagay ituon ang mga pansin... tingnan din natin ang mga nilalaman ng damdamin ng mga taong kaharap natin...

hindi porke't gnun na ang sitwasyon eh gnun na tlga yun...

hinde lahat ng pagkakataon ay gnun.. malay mo ang mga taong nsa paligid mo eh may kanya-kanyang interpretasyon sa pangyayari na hindi mo maarok dahil naka-base ang utak mo sa mga natural na bagay na sa araw-araw mo nakikita.. kaya gnun n lng ang pagbibgay mo ng iterpretasyon sa pangyayari o sitwasyon...

maging open-minded ka... alamin mo ang saloubin nga nkakarami at hindi 1,2,3 tao lng ang tanungin mo... kundi marami.. dahil malay mo pareho lng kau ng interpretasyon ng 3 tao na kinausap mo...

My portrait as a writer

He is a thin guy with more bones than muscles.
He always walks in a hurry but is always late.
He tries to stand tall but he's only 5'6".
That is he, a smurf who never grows.

He wears square shoes, fabulously ridiculous and old fashioned.
He wears eye glasses, too giant for his bulging eyes.
He carries an orange notebook and a two inch pencil.
That is he, a fashion model at the wrong time.

He sleeps too early and wakes-up late.
A trouble maker everywhere he goes who wears a peace of loving smiley.
He bursts out with optimism but later cries and surrenders.
That is he, a indirect pessimist.

He loves to write weird and nonsense things.
He loves to write anything even the supid and absurd.
He writes everything to her delight until he becomes hungry.
That is he, a creepy write and a picky eater with an alien appetite.

He forgets everything more than once in a day.
He is not a Vegetarian and yet he thought he is a green leafy carnivore.
He believes he can't do anything right----never.
That is he, a walking inferiority complex.

He smiles when you see him.
He dreams at night and sings out in tunes at daytime.
Still, he thinks he's a simple guy inside.
He can't be anything else but ordinary.

He has the hands of an old man;
Yet, it weaves beautiful words nobody understands.
They are painful sometimes------ oftentimes.
Yes, he writes about pain. He feels it always(huhuhu).

He himself is pain.

At one corner, he smiles big enough to fool everyone;
And imagine mostly of things untouched by mortal hands.
That is he...
a writer who spews words more than a pen's lead could
leak...

BLIND DATE!!

Part 1

After a while , living alone tends to get boring. It's been quite some time since I've said a word other than "hi" to a female. It's not like i did'nt try to be friends with them but for some strange unexplained reasons I could never think of anything to say other than "hi." So i decide to stay single. Now i was learning that being single wasn't quite that pleasurable. If only i could have found a way to bring the beautiful words in my head to my mouth then maybe life for me would have been different. Add to that, the fact that im nearing 20 and you can understand that im getting a bit desperate. But now i believe that my unfortunate predicament is about to change.

The computer is a glorious invention of man. It is capable of making a shy unsociable geek like myself seem like a smooth talking stud. It is this tool that i shall now use to help me find a suitable companion. In fact im already in what people call a chatroom right now.

It seem like the people here have very peculiar nicknames. No doubt about their means for decribing themselves. One name strike my fancy. "Pretty." Since im, going to choose someone at random. I might as well choose someone with a pretty name after all; it would be nice if my future mate is of suitable appearance. So now it is time to begin chatting with her. There shall be no more nervousness and incoherent rambling from me. Now I shall be able to think of my answers carefully and i shall be able to check before i send.

chin-chin: hi

i have said it so many times i have practically mastered its use. they should call me master of hi.

Pretty: hello

strange, it must be some kind of variation of the word hi. i shall assume its meaning is the same.

chin-chin: so where do u live?

Pretty: 214 chuvaness street, pacita

chin-chin: i live in 143 amfness street just 3 blocks from where u live

Pretty: imagine that

for a few seconds there i was actually typing spontaneously without thinking. still i wonder what she wants me to imagine. But i really should think about what to say next or should say what type next since im not really saying it. i know. i shall ask her to provide the subject for conversation.

chin-chin: anything you want to talk about?

Pretty: anything's fine with me.

she must have multiple interest and talents to be able to talk about anything. yet the task of providing a topic for conversation has once again fallen on me.

chin- chin: so what is your favorite food?

an inspired question if i may say so myself. what else do all people do but eat. therefore it is safe to assume that she too has a favored recipe.

Pretty: you mean as in place to grab som chow?

that wasn't my expected reply, then again it's better than the classic no which i have heard more times than i would like to remember. or maybe she is just confirming my question in some strange manner. at any rate i must type something now.

chin-chin: yes

Pretty: i love hanging out in McDonalds

now i understand. her favorite food is at McDonalds though why she wants to hang out there i have no idea. hanging is for monkeys. still no one's perfect. and come to think of it the food there is quite good. best to let her know that i, too like Mcdonalds

chin-chin: i also enjoy the food there

Pretty: cool! hey wanna meet there tommorow at lunch?

this is unbelievable. usually females would be running away from me now but this one actually wants to meet me. its seems like my lonely days are about to come to an end. we shall meet tomorrow my Pretty.

chin-chin: good idea

Pretty: whatcha gonna wear?

chin-chin: i shall wear a cap and sun glasses

Pretty: neat. i gotta split now c u den.

Part 2

this is quite exciting. i have not experienced this amount of excitement since turning on my computer last night. its 5 to 12. she'll be here pretty soon.

"excuse me mister but were you the one whom i talked to last night?" said a voice from behind.

i turned my head and was shocked. this wasn't a female but a girl. she was barely 13 and her hair already turned in different colors.

"who are you?"

"im trisha mae tolentino. also known as Pretty in the chatrooms."

the shock on my face was slowly being replaced by a look of confusion though i doubt anyone could tell the difference."dont tell me you were the one i was chatting with last night?"

she let out a smile. "that was me alright. i was wondering watcha were like, but i never thought that i was talking to an antique."

(^%#*!@$ toh ha!!!)

this girl was a little wise for her own good. " well i thought i was talking to an actual full grown chick."

"ewwwww. you thought i was a grown up. yuck.($#@!$#@ tlga toh!!)goodbye mister watever your name is." she shouted

well that didn't go so well. still i actually had a conversation with females and i wasn't shy at all. in fact i just seemed to react naturally. maybe thinking about what to say all the time isn't the best thing to do while talking. i really must do this more often. if only i could do it with a female who is older.

Ika-nga ni Bob Ong...dakila ka...ur da man!!!

Sa mga kabataang nanghihingi ng words of wisdom at laging nag-aakalang meron ako sa bulsa, meron nga. Ito, hindi ko ginagamit, inyo na lang:

Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamanag pusa o maglakad sa bubog na nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nilang kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.

Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, magnhihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)

Wag mawawalan ng gana sa buhay. Kung ano yung galling mo, kulit mo, lakas ng sigaw at tuwa mo sa mga laban ng UAAP, NCAA, mga sprots fest, o concert ng paborito mong banda, wag mong iwawala hanggang sa pagtanda. Wag kang tutulad sa ilang kongresista na nagre-report sa trabaho para lamang matulog.

Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.

Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan s asarili mo. Kung gusto mo mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. Wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa’yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa Jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa ngayon sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?

Kung gusto mong maging musikero, sige lang. Pintor, ayos! Inhinyero, the best! Kung gusto mong maging teacher, pilitin mong maging teacher na hindi makakalimutan ng mga estudayante mo. Kung gusto mong maging sapatero, maging pinakamahusay kang sapatero. Kung gusto mong maging karpintero, maging pinkamagaling kang karpintero. Kung gusto mong maging tindero ng balut, wag kang dadaan sa harap ng bahay naming para mambulahaw sa gabi kung ayaw mong masaktan!

Mangarap ka at abutin mo ‘to. Wag mong sisihin ang sir among pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwede kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.

Hindi ako naniniwalang kailangan ng tao mangarap dahil gusto n’ya ng pera, o gusto n’yang sumikat, o gusto n’ya ng impluwensya. Side effects na lang ang mga ‘to, tingin ko. Nangarap ang tao dahil binigyan s’ya ng Diyos ng kakayanang mangarap at tumupad nito. Tungkulin n’yang pagbutihin ang pagkatao n’ya at mag-ambag ng tulong sa mundo. At wala na s’yang iba pang magagawang mas malaking kasalanan sa sarili bukod sa talikuran ang tungkuling yon at hindi bumili ng libro ko.

Sa panghuli, higit sa lahat, magbasa ka ng libro. Kung nabasa mo lahat ang mga libro ko, salamat. Pero kung makakabasa ka pa ng ibang libro bukod sa mga isinulat ko o mga ipinabili ng teacher mo, mas magaling. Hikayatin mo lahat ng mga kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas nakakaawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa. Ayos lang lumaki nang lumaki, magpatangkad, at tumanda nang walang natututunan—kung puno ka! Pero bilang tao, may karne sa loob ng bungo mo na nangangailan ng sustansya. Maraming pagkakataong kakailangin mong sundutin yon. At sa bawat sundot, tulad ng sundot-kulangot, mas maigi kung may kapaki-pakinabang kang makukuha.

Sana mabasa ng mga kailangang makabasa.

**The following is taken from Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong. If you have time I suggest that you read the whole book.

Antayteld...

The greatest want of the world's the want of men.
Men who will not be bought or sold, men who in
their inmost souls are true and honest, men who
do not fear to call sin by its right name, men whose
conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole...

Chat logs Part 2

chin:haayyy..

girl: bkit po?

chin: wala
hehehe
msama bng mag haaaaayyyy
?
;)

girl: hehe(ignore)
wala lang po
:p

chin: ay
ganito n lng :'(
dto n lng ako mag emote
:'(

girl: waaah(cant stand any longer)
wag nman ganun

chin: ngaun lng toh
pagbigyan mo n aku
ganito nmn aku eh

girl: :'( (isip-isip kunwari)

chin: sa simula lng

girl: sorry ha (iyak ka mgisa mo)

chin: bigyan mo aku ng 2 weeks
oki lng
alam ko nmn kse ung pinapasok ko eh
kya it's my fault as well

girl: still...
haaay
sori ha

chin: u dont have to say sorry anymore
i was hurt.. coz i allowed myself to get hurt
pde nmn ako mag no before

girl: i never wanted to hurt you (tanga ka lng kz)

chin: pde nmn ako lumayo
but i chose to stay db?
u never did hurt me intentionally..
ayun

girl: :(

chin: wala n pla ako msbe

girl: i just want you to be ok
sorry kung pinatagal ko... lalo ka 2loy nahirapan
:(
ndi ko ksi mapigilan ang sarili ko eh
sobrang saya pag kasama kta
pero reality finally settled in
and i realized na ung ginagawa ko is unfair to both of you
you deserve to be wid someone that can go all the way
give you everything
and i cant do that
narealize ko, the longer dis goes on... the harder its gonna be for us
and i dont want that
i just want u to be happy(hay sa wakas.. nsabi ko rin)

chin: un lang... gnun lng un (finally realized)

naglaro lng kmi ng jack en poy!!!

Chat logs!!!

girl: sorry ha..

chin: nde mo nmn kelangn mag sory.. wala k nmang gngawang masma eh.. tama b aku? i love you

girl: :( ayaw kong malulungkot k dahil sken

chin: nde nman eh.. msya nmn aku ksma ka.

girl: i love you too, sorry tlga ha..

chin: ayan n nman tau.. tma na ang usapin na un.. sbe ko nga naiintindihan kita..

girl: haayy.. i just wish i cud give you more.. God knows you deserve more than this.. i just want you to be happy

ndi ko kyang mgalit sau... ikw lng ang ngpapasaya sa akin... bumalik ka na plz!!!!